My something

From our Black Friday walk on Abbot Kinney.

Woo gobble!

I have been waiting for this day for a couple weeks now. My little heart has been bursting with thankfulosity. Now that Thanksgiving is here, I feel less enthusiastic about making a public list of what I'm thankful for. The entire year has been pretty incredible, and I only anticipate it getting better.

I was hoping to save the juicy stuff for my New Year's retrospective, but why pickle happiness for later? Earlier this year I told my friend B that this could be the best year ever. I befriended and began to date SE, I've had the opportunity to present and publish my work, I ran TransRockies, and I'm applying to grad school. I want to be sure I remember how I feel right now, this warm blanket of content.

Joshua Tree NP

After years of careful consideration, I’ve decided I like everything about being outside and camping. I like all the usual things: fresh air, scenery, hiking, campfires, and having a break from phones & computers. My absolute favorites:

• you know you have good friends when you spend all your waking hours with them and you still look forward to making plans with them at the end of the weekend
• after 48 hours of driving, making camp in the dark, being cold, cooking over a fire, and no bathing, you still find your significant other to be pretty dreamy
• you get to be “camp clean” instead of city clean – who knew you could eat with utensils that have a little bit of last night’s dinner stuck to them?
  

That said, I know there are downsides. Sometimes a rock will jump out and attack your shin, leaving a ginorms scrape down the front of your leg.

Stretching

A long time ago, when I was a teenager, I saw "The Shell Seekers" on TV. Years later, on vacation with my mom and sister in Seattle, I bought the book at a thrift store. I still have it. It became a bath book, so it's now wrinkly and coverless. The main character notes that there is a certain luxury in being apart from her lover. To be alone, but know that he was coming back. To continue to have a bond across some time and distance.

The time apart, even when it's a little bit, gives whatever it is between two people a chance stretch its legs. I can't help but to imagine today (Sunday) that this is not unlike when God put his feet up and said, "This is good."

Oh, and it always helps to be listening to Weezer, that's good too.

Joel Stein

Why are you so funny? If you keep this up, I won't be able to read you at work anymore. Not sure if my co-workers appreciate my random outbursts of laughter.

http://twitter.com/thejoelstein

Oh crap, he's right. But hear me out.

So SE observed that I follow a blog written by a woman that lost her daughter at 18 months, I have a memoir by an author that lost her son during labor, and some other thing that involves the death of a child. I actually have more: I've read The Book of Calamities, Why Bad Things Happen to Good People, and follow Ayelet Waldman's blog. Ayelet and her husband decided to terminate a 2nd trimester pregnancy after discovering a genetic anomaly. Why am I drawn to these stories?

I'm pretty comfortable with my current experience of death. I was there for the last few months and final minutes of someone's life, I watched someone go into atrial fibrillation as their liver was exsanguinated, and I volunteered for pediatric hospice. I think it's the same reason I watched "Intervention." It's proof that people are incredibly resilient. I don't think any of them are the same, but they're surviving, and surviving well. They got pregnant again, gave birth, and emerged with their marriages intact. The worst things can happen to you, and you can still be okay.

I think I often seek guarantees in unlikely places. Life is neither REI nor Nordstrom (though that would be awesome). So in the end it's not so much the tragedy of the above that I focus on, but the rising from the ashes and continuing to live a good life, everyday, and making an effort be happy that I admire.

Isn't Lent Over?

I gave up being annoyed for Lent this year. Clearly, Lent is over, as the baby Jesus is about to visit us. I am still working on it. My original thought was to try and document something positive everyday, making deposits into the good mood bank. But I will value honesty above the theme and say that I have been irritated. I tried really hard not roll my eyes, and I think I succeeded. Until I read the first 11 pages of a certain book. Or some other stuff, but I said I would work on it.

Never Begrudge the Genuine

Even when the genuine is a really sweaty guy with long hair be-bopping to The Pixies. I am really glad we were insulated by the hipster standing between us, taking the spray. I could just imagine the droplets slowly flying through the air, flattening out as they land on the nearest person, and then absorbing into said person's t-shirt, making a small dot of perspiration.

I love it when people are enthusiastic. It makes me happy regardless of the thing that's making them happy. It could be a really ugly dog, but gd, if they love that dog, I'm happy for them.

Oh, This American Life . . .

Episode #349

My idealism, high standards, so much expected from others, are my defiance of the bad in the world. My rebellion against cynicism. My small stand against what the world sometimes throws at us. Against infidelity, against falling out of love, against all that we cannot control. My throat aching with both the happiness and bittersweetness. I am brave, daring the world to disappoint me. And promising to go on even if I get disappointed. I know it is inevitable.

Episode #349 is the Valentine's Day 2008 episode.